Kyle, Melissa, Traci, Geoff, and Steve

Simultaneously I had a bunch of friends and one family member visit me. My Kansas City karaoke buds (Kyle, Melissa, and Traci), my cousin (Geoff), and his friend (Steve). First, on Friday, my cousin Geoff and Steve arrived. We headed straight to the sports book where Geoff was making some parlay bets on multiple things that may or may not occur during a hockey game. It was also a good opportunity to get some free drinks. God bless Vegas. We then walked the strip to the Venetian and ate at a great place there, after which I headed home.

Then, on Saturday, my three friends arrived, and we started out at the Hilton pool, which is a great place to begin in Las Vegas. Kyle and I actually hopped into the "heated" pool (about 65 degrees, I'm guessing), and after some relaxing, Kyle decided that the temperature and wind outside was too much, so he hopped out of the pool. I remained, and after about five minutes, I happened to be looking in the lifeguard's general direction, and her large, collapsed shade umbrella with long and heavy metal pole fell off her stand and conked a girl directly on the head without so much as a sound warning. The lifeguard didn't even respond, but other lifeguards ran to her rescue and she seemed to be alright. After speaking with her later, I discovered that she didn't even ask for an upgraded suite or anything, as she said she had drank so much that she didn't really even feel the large bump on her head.

Then, while Steve was at a Van Halen concert (the David Lee Roth version), the rest of us went to Smith and Wollensky, an upscale steak place. Geoff had seen this waiter named Ken pull off some wacky Chris Farley imitation in the past (and he even claimed it was "life changing" in the email he sent me afterward), so we decided to request this waiter as well. Hilarity ensued. This guy did one heck of a Tom Foley, motivational speaker imitation, but mostly he was combining his comedy with his obvious love of Traci. He hit on her the entire time, but used his comedy as a way to make it funny. And it was. I haven't laughed that hard in a very long time. He even knocked over one of the wine glasses, and yelled, "Son of a..." I wish we could have the entire event on camcorder, as it was as good or better as any show in Vegas. If you come to Vegas, request Ken. It is worth the $45 steak price. Oh, and make sure you get the Macaroni. He does shows around the country, and you can check him out at kenasfarley.com.

Since the night is never complete unless karaoke is involved, we headed to Ellis Island, a shady little off-strip location near Bally's. Traci wowed the audience with some SWV, Kyle sang a song I never heard before, and I (predictably, perhaps) did "Baby Got Back." Melissa and Geoff watched as the three of us outperformed the competition.

The next day, Kyle, Geoff and I played in a couple of poker tournaments, and Geoff placed in one, but Kyle and I just lamented our losses. On Monday, Geoff headed out of town, and after wishing his sister, Anna, a happy birthday, I headed over to the Hilton to hang out with the rest of the gang for the day. It was a much needed break from poker. We headed to In-N-Out Burger. My excitement and hunger got the best of me, but as we were pulling into the entryway, we noticed that two cops were just sitting in the exit, and a van immediately in front of us just came to a stop, so there was no way to get in. The van was waiting on an SUV, and after I got annoyed (about 1.3 seconds), I went ahead and laid on the horn. Oops. That's when I noticed a 700-point font on the side that said: SHERIFF. Note to self: "Stop honking at the police." Traci told me that I received several glares from all the police involved, but luckily I was able to enjoy my burger without handcuffs. We then went atop the Stratosphere, where we talked about the recent suicide jump rumor and the strange spike lightning rod system. I believe we went back to the hotel, grabbed some food, and headed to the airport. I'm so thankful my friends have been out here to make this a pleasant trip.